Do you want to go to Hawaii?
I have a friend who goes to stay in a condo in Hawaii for a week every winter. We live in the midwestern United States, so it’s a marvelous escape from winters that can be brutally cold. Sometimes she feels guilty about going to Hawaii. She’s convinced she isn’t better than anyone else (true) and isn’t sure that she deserves to go to Hawaii (not true).
The truth is, everyone deserves to go to Hawaii, including my friend. I think she just maybe considered the possibility that she didn’t deserve it any less than anyone else. Maybe.
Deserving doesn’t enter into the calculation, really. People do the things they want to do with the resources they have available, and they get to. Deserving doesn’t come into it.
We are all worthy of love and belonging, just as we are. We are all 100% lovable, just as we are. We are all deserving of good things in our lives. We might need to work to make them happen, but we don’t need to earn being deserving of them.
We don’t get everything we’ve ever wanted, but most things we really want we can make happen for ourselves, sooner or later.
And we deserve to enjoy them.